courage

On change:

Action from the top down isn’t just desirable—it’s necessary. But action has to come from below, too. Administrative action is for naught so long as students keep cramming themselves into SAE parties, which are off campus and can’t be controlled by deans, even while SAE is under suspension.

On the students:

But in general, our students have the sexual and alcoholic prerogatives of grown-ups, but the work responsibilities of children; they have the intellects of grown-ups, but are coddled with the grading expectations afforded children; they have the opinions of grown-ups, but give their elders the deference we typically expect from children.

To the students:

Take some time to wonder what college life would be like if you comported yourselves as draft-age, marriage-age, voting citizens. Which is what you are. Would you drink more responsibly, party a bit less, be less reckless in relationships? Would do more of your reading? When offended, would you organize more effectively? Would you be more capable of truly radical political action? Think about how an adult, not a partying student, treats people of other genders. If you are white, take stock of what solidarity you owe people who lack white privilege.

http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-news-and-politics/194874/person-up-yale-students

What this means for me:

Getting serious about what I'm about

out of the woods - hooray :)

patient

Foucault page 95

Where there is power, there is resistance, and yet, or rather consequently, this resistance is never in a position of exteriority in relation to power. Should it be said that one is always "inside" power, there is no "escaping" it, there is no absolute outside where it is concerned, because one is subject to the law in any case? Or that, history being the ruse of reason, power is the ruse of history, always emerging the winner? This would be to misunderstand the strictly relational character of power relationships. Their existence depends on a multiplicity of points of resistance: these play the role of adversary, target, support, or handle in power relations. These points of resistance are present everywhere in the power network. Hence there is no single locus of great Refusal, no soul of revolt, source of all rebellions, or pure law of the revolutionary. Instead there is a plurality of resistances, each of them a special case: resistances that are possible, necessary, improbable; others that are spontaneous, savage, solitary, concerted, rampant, or violent; still others that are quick to compromise, interested, or sacrificial; by definition, they can only exist in the strategic field of power relations. But this does not mean that they are only a reaction or rebound, forming with respect to the basic domination an underside that is in the end always passive, doomed to perpetual defeat. Resistances do not derive from a few heterogeneous principles; but neither are they a lure or a promise that is of necessity betrayed. They are the odd term in relations of power; they are inscribed in the latter as an irreducible opposite. Hence they too are distributed in irregular fashion: the points, knots, or focuses of resistance are spread over time and space at varying densities.at times mobilizing groups or individuals in a definitive way, inflaming certain points of the body, certain moments in life, certain types of behavior. Are there no great radical ruptures, massive binary divisions, then? Occasionally, yes. But more often one is dealing with mobile and transitory points of resistance, producing cleavages in a society that shift about, fracturing unities and effecting regroupings, furrowing across individuals themselves, cutting them up and remolding them, marking off irreducible regions in them, in their bodies and minds.

Just as the network of power relations ends by forming a dense web that passes through apparatuses and institutions, without being exactly localized in them, so too the swarm of points of resistance traverses social stratification and individual unities. And it is doubtless the strategic codification of these points of resistance that makes a revolution possible, somewhat similar to the way in which the state relies on the institutional integration of power relationships.

the problems are like the body-
we like to think of the ills of this world like cuts on the outside which we merely put plasters over and they will be gone. but the problem is inside us, its an epidemic, we are sick. and what we need is a cure at every level, from our organs right down to our cells. Is there one pill that will fix us all?

If i am trying to "change the world" I must see that I cannot do it without my pills. without the miracle cure the the gospel offers, though it may not be immediate (and different patients will respond differently). To be a doctor does not mean one has the power to bring people back to life, but a doctor has the knowledge, training, and tools to advise and walk with the sick as they comply to being patients, and are disciplined in taking their daily dosage. It is the magic in the medicine, not the doctor, that really heals.

where has joy gone?

I love the book of Philippians.

It is a one for all of life because it is hard. For what can "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice" mean in good days? We hear it and smirk, thinking we have already grasped the heights of divine pleasure. Don't lecture me, I know, I know ... then in pits of darkness the same words are lost on us. 

If only for a little while.

[]

Philippians 4

Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown,stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. (4:1)

Stand firm thus in the Lord.

This is our whole life. The struggle to be faithful, we have no where else to go; the struggle to trust and believe that the promises of God are good and true. When Jesus spoke to the woman at the well (what an obscure way to remember her), she couldn't fathom why a Jewish man would want to speak to a Samaritan woman.  

God, that you would love me? You would reach out to me? Do you know who I am? 

But Paul's instruction is not about us, neither is it incomplete. He say stand firm thus, meaning like this, like so, and reveals how we can stand firm: only in the Lord.

I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers,whose names are in the book of life. (4:2-3)

Are we surprised that the problem here is with fellow laborers, Christian saints who are dedicated to the gospel? Or are conflict and pleas for restoration reminders our present complete-incomplete status. Latin is my last resort, but few words capture Christian identity better than simul justus et Peccator,at the same time righteous and a sinner.

This is why we are commanded to rejoice in the Lord always, for reconciliation through the cross of Christ and future hope of eternal reunion.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (4:4-7)

Joy is our life line, not an option. The call is to rejoice over and over, always, regardless of how we feel or how we think it will make us feel. There is much to be said about the psychology of gratitude as an antidote for depression, is this a biblical basis? I like to think so. I am so bad at it, but if my life could revolve much more around:
1) thankfulness for the small things
2) seeing that God is sovereign and in control of it all
3) surrendering everything to him through prayer,
it might take a lot less time to get out of the fluxes. 

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Don't you just love that verse!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.(4:8-9)

Dad texted me this verse the day I flew back from Shanghai for the last time. I got it as I was leaving the plane and couldn't stop crying. I remember running into their arms as soon as I could get through the glass that separated baggage from arrivals. 

"It's okay, you're safe now, you're home." 

See:

http://www.ligonier.org/blog/simul-justus-et-peccator
David Platt, Take Heed Lest You Fall https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rggpTx-mrsw

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I'm Mary and I'm Martha all at the same time;
I'm sitting at His feet and yet I'm dying to be recognized.
I am a picture of contentment and I am dissatisfied.
Why is it easy to work but hard to rest sometimes,
Sometimes, sometimes

I'm restless, and I rustle like a thousand tall trees;
I'm twisting and I'm turning in an endless daydream.
You wrestle me at night and I wake in search of You...
But try as I might, I just can't catch You
But I want to, 'cause I need You, yes, I need You
I can't catch You, but I want to.

How long, how long until I'm home?
I'm so tired, so tired of running
How long until You come for me?

How long, how long until I'm home?
I'm so tired, so tired of running
How long until You come for me?

I'm so tired, so tired of running
Yeah, I'm so tired, so tired of running
I'm so tired, so tired of running

lord, save me from myself

"Mike: The songs on 'Fall' and 'Winter' in particular are quite depressing, aren't they?

Jon: Well, it depends on what you mean by depressing. They are definitely sobering, that's for sure. 'Fall' is about the act of dying and 'Winter' would be the act of death or hibernation, however you want to put it. I think "Learning How to Die" is a good song. It talks about all of this. I used to think that life was kind of accumulating, that you were continually learning more, growing more, understanding more. Then I had a few events in my life that made me realise that life is actually about surrender and losing, in fact maybe giving yourself away. So maybe 'Winter' is the most honest season. So I don't think it's a depressing thought but it certainly is a sobering thought to think that this life that we've been given actually has a purpose of surrender rather than conquest."

People/Prostitutes

Credit:Edwin Koh © 2015 OM International 

At 10.30pm last Friday night, our team stepped out of the OM office building, onto the dimly lit streets of Lorong 16. Lost and uncertain (half of us were new to this area, let alone street work), we clutched out baskets containing small gift packs- tissues, a notepad and biscuits, tightly. Despite orientation and prayer, I still wondered how I would know what to say. Would I be able to convey the gospel fully? How would I start the conversation? What if it got awkward? What if I got trafficked?!

I struggled a lot with finding the right words, sometimes any words, to say. Thankfully, the gift packets proved precious in becoming the first exchange that opened the way to further conversation. Whether this was listening to their struggles (the lady boys were especially chatty), a short “here you go, God bless you,” or the amazing chance to be able to pray for people, you took whatever you could get. We cheered silently at every pimp that let us pass their girl a letter (http://www.fathersloveletter.com/text.html), for every street worker who could speak our language, and especially at the chance to pray God’s truth into people’s lives.

The pace and nature of our interactions were so different to what I was used to having with other students and friends. This was a different world, a marginalized, abused, forgotten world. Though as the night went on, I saw that their struggles with identity, hopelessness and poverty, were things I knew too, just in different dimensions. I prayed to dig deeper, that God would increase and that my selfish guarding of my comfort zone would decrease.

I realized that if I was to really love them, it had to be more than a transactional kind of love. Not a package deal, “Ok nice life story but (I don’t have time to really care so) basically, here’s what you need: the gospel, do this, this, this, read this and keep doing these things. Call me if you need help. Oh and, God loves you!” Such transactional “love”, was what the men who sought out these prostitutes walked the streets for. Can you imagine Jesus having that conversation?

Although seeing customers haggle with pimps, putting a price on someone else’s daughter made me sick, at the same time I know we too are guilty of trading God’s love for a cheaper version of it.

In my evangelistic zeal, the goal to be a faithfulgospelwitness overtook the necessity of knowing God (not just about God) and helping these ladies do the same. I too had fallen into the trap of treating people as things to be bought or won, or trophies to be collected instead of feasting on the delight of relationships, believing things could be as good as God designed them to be. How good it is that despite our sin, our God is a personal God, who comes down to be with us and draws us to Him. What more that His love is so wide, long, high and deep, it goes beyond what we can know!

C.S. Lewis says that we resist God because we misunderstand his demands. We fail to see that what can appear to be an unwelcome, sometimes painful intrusion into our lives is really the result of a love that is too great[1] for us. As we grow in grace and knowledge of God, I pray we will look at the world through heaven’s eyes, believe that He really does love us so much, and then love the way he loves. By faith, we can and will step out into the Geylangs of our lives that God is calling us to.

Further reading: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/true-holiness-befriends-sinners

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[1] Those Divine demands which sound to our natural ears most like those of a despot and least like those of a lover, in fact marshal us where we should want to go if we knew what we wanted. He demands our worship, our obedience, our prostration. … We are bidden to ‘put on Christ’, to become like God. That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want. Once more, we are embarrassed by the intolerable compliment, by too much love, not too little. C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1996), pp. 46-47.