cullings

1 Samuel 1:1-1:8

84 I have chosen to discuss Hannah's prayer after Daniel's to remind both myself and you that we shall never outgrow the need of childlike prayer for personal needs.

85 One year Hannah left her food untouched. Tears welled from her eyes as she stared at the meat. Her appetite had gone. Even Elkanah's tender assurances of love could not remove the load of depression that crushed her.

I think of this and I think of the many times that people have hoped to be the magic spark that will snap me out of a depressive spell. They see me zone out or my expression change...and they try to smile and make merry hoping to chase the dark clouds away. You know the irony is, what actually helps more is someone to sit in the dumps with you. At least for a while. "Damn sian right", Jinks said to me the other day. That helped- brought me back to earth, to realizing that yup life just stinks sometimes. But that's only a short term solution...living in the pits forever doesn't cut it. But when we're all in it together, who will pull us out?

85 Hannah's plight is touching. But its very ordinariness raises the question: Why should so trivial a matter need to be recorded? Why should it form the opening bars in the long symphony of Israel's greatness?...In the long story of kings, battles, sieges and the exploits of the great, it tells of a God who cares for the poor and the downtrodden, of a God to whom no hurt is too trivial to demand his care. God is indeed the God of the sparrows and the lilies.

86 Hannah took the initiative and God responded. Is this really the way it was? Does Hannah's prayer represent an exception to the rule? Who caused her to be barren ("the LORD had closed her womb")? Who allowed her to be subject to ridicule - and why?

Hannah's child was to be an unusual figure in history. He was by sheer moral and spiritual power in one lifetime to cleanse idolatry from Israel, to exalt the only true God throughout the realm and to establish a monarchy.

Unusual circumstances were needed to produce such a man. Greatness was to be formed in a special mold. From early childhood Samuel was to be subject to the influences of worship, of Eli's moral guidance and o the voice of God. When in her desperation Hannah vowed that any child born to her would be given back to God, she little knew the consequences her vow would have. But God knew. He had allowed her too come to a pitch of desperation for this very reason.

2 Corinthians 12, Isaiah 6, John 21, Exodus 14-15

87 He may change the course of history through your pain, but you may never discover its wider meaning

88 What you can always experience is a deepening relationship with him. For you may be sure that the pain has a purpose in your own life. It is divine surgery that, if you respond to it appropriately, will heal and correct defects in your Christian growth. But it is essential that you respond with trust in the mercy and goodness of God. No bitterness or rebellion must be permitted to cloud your vision of him even when he seems not to answer. Otherwise the pain designed to enrich and deepen your relationship with him might have the opposite effect as you allow yourself the luxuries of self-pity and doubt.

89 "Every good endowment and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights" (Jas 1:17) It is essential that we recognize what we own him. Otherwise his gifts will bring us no joy. Samuel, I am sure, was a lifelong joy for Hannah

I almost didn't cull these lines. Probably because they seem so counter intuitive. If pain is a mountain, it seems natural to congratulate oneself  when you make it to the top; good job Hannah for surviving another day; good job Hannah for hanging in there. Oh how I cringe. Atop a mountain how can one still have eyes for oneself, are we so blind to what lies below and above and beyond! Any triumph through pain can only be greeted with how marvelous are Your ways how good you are to us, Heavenly Father. These are words I am still learning to say.

90 As Christians we often make two mistakes. We moan fluently to people around us. This may be the lesser evil. Friends can be counted on to take a certain amount of moaning. But we are to bring our griefs to God, and it is here that we ail so lamentably. We come to him. That is to say, we exercise faith. We believe he is, that he is there, so to speak. We also believe that he can hear us. But our far of God and our reverence for him inhibit us. Can the God of the heavens really care about my little affairs? (Does a mother care about a three-year-old's scratched finger?)

91 But to tremble and to be struck dumb need not go together. Great as he is, he is also tender and gentle. And since he is aware of the subtlest nuance of pain in our hearts we need not hide it from him. We may be angry or resentful toward him, but whether our resentment is justifiable or not, it is better expressed than hidden. Does it shock you, once you see him, to see how horrendous your thoughts really are?

91 Peace came to Hannah. Eli's words of comfort were God's way of telling her that he had heard. Weeks might pass before she became pregnant, but for her the issue was settled.

91 But there are other times when it is harder for me to know that peace. No flood of assurance flows through my limbs and lifts me to my feet. I am asked, "Can you trust me?" "Yes, Lord," I will answer. "Then trust me and leave the matter with me. You now who I am." And with that I have to be satisfied

This is my favorite part but also the hardest - we think that trust is based on favor; I trust you because I like you. Not entirely, trust is based on knowing that He is Good and he loves us
(Romans 8)

Excerpts taken from John White, People in Prayer, Inter Varsity Press, 1977