calling

where in the world
is the word
vocation
used nowadays?

is it like the german system of apprenticeship?

"In many societies in Southeast Asia, contra Weber, professionalization has thus not necessarily entailed a withdrawal from state and power; on the contrary, vocational professionals are more frequently socially oriented. Doctors who move to dabble in politics often find the transition from one to the other is never really complete; their politics and medical practice are rarely mutually exclusive.
The nature of their training no doubt played a role, too. Early generations of indigenous doctors, like lawyers, were highly educated, and occupy an important social strata as a professional nationalist intelligentsia. They were mobile subjects, often educated abroad and exposed to many different forms of government, social systems and ideological influences; yet the medical training they received disposed them to view their sociopolitical environment as a subjective plurality through which ran the rational, objective truth of modern science" p.2-3 (bold mine)

https://www.academia.edu/2976472/Healing_the_Nation_Politics_Medicine_and_Analogies_of_Health_in_Southeast_Asia_version_1.0_

Learnin journeyin

But in the costly wounds of love
At the cross

[11/05, 19:46] Hannah: As she was drawing me I was painting a sunflower on the other side of the lantern. But I still heard  describe my portrait, and she said "let's add a halo because she's a goody two shoes" to which I remarked "that's nice" sarcastically and kept painting.

Reminds me of me when I see the world critically and keep my tongue unchecked. Then the tongue is like a whip or a chord that lashes out and cuts sharply into those it judges. Thank God He is our great redeemer, healer and friend. Words will never kill me and what a tears but a little drop of rain 😊😂🍃🙏🏼💪💪🏿❤💩💞🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🙆🏻‍♀

[11/05, 19:53] Hannah: In other news, I had a lovely conversation in Chinese with our taxi driver to shifen (the place you light the lanterns) about Jesus 😍 and fo jiao (Buddhism) it was lovely and life giving! And very interesting insights into the way he viewed Christianity (I think mainly through Western countries as proxies for Christian values/ "philosophy") he made a comment, "that's why fo jiao countries will always be poor, because they are helping others" in comparison to Christinaity which intervenes like America. But he had never read the bible for himself and didn't know Jesus claims to be God. He thinks Jesus is a teacher to lead you on the path to God just like Buddah is. But he took my point that only a sinless person can take the sins of a sinful person. And if Buddha is sinless then he isn't human - all humans sin. And I enjoyed, as always, the bundles of truth and wisdom that come rolling in with Chinese values. It's just always impossible to get a word in hahaha but thank goodness I have learnt the art of mmm-ing and am growing in my joy of listening. And one of the last things religious related I said was 绅是爱 and he concurred. May God have mercy and bless him. Jess was just happy because after all that he decided to give us a discount haha

thank you kay redfield jamison, marcia inhorn and arthur kleinman // he said she said

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPxrZg9XeF0

I really like Jon Foreman's music because it's just so real. 

Today I had a chat with Arthur Kleinman, he is the kindest yet wise and sharpest "old" scholar I know. I so grateful to God - he is really sending me all his angels in this time of senselessness. 

He gave me good advice. 
1) Avoid being alone he said
2) Wake up at 6.30 he said
3) Do a 30-45 minutes "energy burner" in the morning (e.g. yoga/ tai chi/ lift weights whatever) It just has to be systematic. I like morning walks and sometimes jogs and yoga!
4) Keep a regular, good diet. Sit down with a nutritionist and work out a systematic diet.
5) Read an unquiet mind (I'd already read it); read Kay Jamison's biography of Robert Lowell, he had manic depression disorder too. I am "genetically programmed to be creative", he said
6) read a chapter by William James in his Principles of Psychology, just the chapter on habits; why habits are crucial
7) Stay on lithium. Stay on it. And go for regular blood tests.

Writing point 7 just now cut my heart a bit. I still don't understand God why. Why? But I trust you. And I trust my doctor. Thank you - for giving me all the people I need for the moment. And for the future - it scares me. But I know you will be with me always. I will be ok! 

2 songs I'm listening to right now,

I'm holding on to you
And I won't let go
You're the one that I can't loose
And I won't let go
You're the only thing that's true
In this whole world of black eyed blues
And disillusioned points of view
And I won't let go
The pain feels like a knife
But I'm not giving up on life

and 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrSJwO5dJXg 

I will only sing your praise. 

Professor Kleinman also kindly advised me to "take a reasonable period of time (4-6 weeks) to think about what the next step in your life will be" 
And while I'm doing that to think about 
/ friends / 
stable relationship. 

Don't live in a fantasy world
Discipline my thoughts
Don't invalid myself.

whispers 欧服 summer

I澳门having送么troublewith没有可以board

our love is like a song we can't forget it/ thank you for saving me/ over and over again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaTYbUugDYU

Joni's desiringGod article  = real worlds of wisdom

haha "worlds of wisdom"
 i meant words of wisdom, but that works too...actually probably makes more sense metaphorically ;)

She needs to be taken literally by my generation...ah the folly of youth. foolish foolish foolish young people!

someone needs her book...who could it be? R.

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/beware-of-running-too-hard

resurrection letters...they make me cry.

Free to go

Jesus answered, "I told you that I am he. So, if you seek me, let these men go." (John 18:8)

If you died that I might live
I needn't labour to make sure
There is no work that I could do
Strong enough to raise the dead

"This was to fulfil the word that he had spoken: "Of those whom you gave me I have lost not one." (18:9)

Your love will not let me go
Lord take me back...
Let my humility run deep
Empty me of what I am!
Father I am in your hands
Show me how I fit into your kingdom plan
Every step, when I don't understand
I trust you x

hypocrisy of the SJW

4 But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him,objected, 5 “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.[b]” 6 He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.

7 “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. 8 You will always have the poor among you,[c] but you will not always have me.”

9 Meanwhile a large crowd of Jews found out that Jesus was there and came, not only because of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. 10 So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, 11 for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and believing in him.

Father

I'm so spent

Why does my heart care

So damn much

Why do I feel

So stupidly strong

About what is right

And what is wrong

Is this worldly condemnation

Is this how it's supposed to be?

Is this carrying my cross

Will this last - eternally?

Oh look to the ant you sluggard!

Then weep at your sin

And look to the cross

I must become less

Trusting you, You will become more

Because You Are. 

All that's fair and true and worth fighting for

You are the Truth

Only You truly set us free

So what they are seeking

What we all crave

Is to be with you

But where are you now?

In better public systems?

In romantic relationships?

Fun? Travelling? "Giving back"

You tell us where you are, 

and so you have. 

15“If you love me, keep my commands. 16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be^c in you.18I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. 19Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. 20On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. 21Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” John 14:15-21

https://www.gotquestions.org/body-of-Christ.html 

What a comfort to know, I am in you and you in me. 

:)

Lonely no more :)

:)

I have calmed and quieted my soul

Like a weaned child with its mother

Like a weaned child is my soul within me

Psalm 131 on that dangerous road to Jerusalem for the festivals 

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;

    my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
    too great and too marvelous for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
    like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, hope in the Lord
    from this time forth and forevermore.